why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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