last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
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