in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
