some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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