i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
