I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
