watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
