Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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