No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
