Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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