I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Your tits are I can't wait for
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
