I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
