are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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