Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
