oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
