Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
now i know why i became what i already was.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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