some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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