Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
