So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
