idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
