Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
