he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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