I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize