Whod you bang
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
