I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
