Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
