Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
