party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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