I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
