is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
