Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
