I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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