i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
