Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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