That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
