JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
