Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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