what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
