My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
