why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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