EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
