Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
