shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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