Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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