if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
