No, drunk sperm still make babies.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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