she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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