I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
