i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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