Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
vagina is talking i cant
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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