If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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