Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
