I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
