I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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