i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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