Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
