just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
