Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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