as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
