Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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