'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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