the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
