eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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